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TAKE NOTE: By entering this website, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Order of Weasels and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as we shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's home and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it. If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, and do not want reporters from the New York Times, Newsweek and the National Enquirer making up stories about you, do not use this product. 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DISCLAIMER OF ENDORSEMENT: Reference herein to any specific commercial products, process, organization or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, does not necessarily constitute or imply its endorsement, recommendation, or favoring by the author, Webmaster or company. The views and opinions of expressed herein do not necessarily state or reflect those of the author, Webmaster, company or his employers, and shall not be used for advertising or product endorsement purposes. It is the responsibility of the buyer, NOT THE SELLER, to ascertain, and obey, all applicable local, state, federal and international laws in regard to the possession and use of any item on this site. All equipment is sold subject to public law 90-351, title III, U.S.D., Section 2511, and any local, state or federal ordinances. Consult your local and state laws before ordering, if you are in doubt. By placing an order, the buyer represents that the products ordered will be used in a lawful manner, and that he/she is of legal age. Random Factors / Webmaster will not be held liable for the misuse of any product. Also, as no product is 100% effective against anything, Random Factors / Webmaster assumes no responsibility if a product used in or linked with this site is not effective in preventing bodily injury, sickness, dismemberment, death, or the cold robbies. Unless otherwise indicated, this Web Site and its contents are © copyright 2007 Random Factors, are the property of Leslie Fish and/or Random Factors (hereinafter called "Random Factors") and are protected, without limitation, pursuant to U.S. and foreign copyright and trademark laws. The Following Terms and Conditions Apply To This Web Site: 1. This Web Site and the material on this Web Site, including but not limited to the text of any manuscripts provided on the Web Site (the "Manuscript"), may not be modified, copied, distributed, republished, downloaded, uploaded or commercially exploited in any manner without the prior written consent of Random Factors. No intellectual property or other rights in and to the Web Site, the material on this Web Site and the Manuscript are transferred to you. 2. Random Factors MAKES NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES WITH RESPECT TO THIS WEB SITE, ITS CONTENTS OR THE MANUSCRIPT, WHICH ARE PROVIDED FOR USE "AS IS" AND IS WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND. Random Factors DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF TITLE, NON-INFRINGEMENT, MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE WEB SITE, ITS CONTENTS, THE MANUSCRIPT AND ANY WEB SITE WITH WHICH THIS WEB SITE IS LINKED. Random Factors ALSO MAKES NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES AS TO WHETHER THE INFORMATION ACCESSIBLE VIA THIS WEB SITE, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE MANUSCRIPT, OR ANY WEB SITE WITH WHICH THIS WEB SITE IS LINKED, IS ACCURATE, COMPLETE, OR CURRENT. Any Manuscript provided on the Web Site is a draft and has not been subject to a final review for accuracy, technical or otherwise. Further, the Manuscript may concern a Beta Release Product that is currently under development, has not yet been finalized or released and which is subject to change without notice. It is your responsibility to evaluate the accuracy and completeness of all information, opinions and other material in or on this Web Site, the Manuscript or any Web Site with which this Web Site is linked. We invite you to comment on any portions of any Manuscript provided on this Web Site. 3. 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The following terms and conditions apply to all Postings / E-Mail to us on or from this Web Site: 4. Portions of this Web Site may provide users an opportunity to post and exchange information, ideas and opinions ("Postings / E-Mail to us"). BE ADVISED THAT Random Factors DOES NOT SCREEN, EDIT, OR REVIEW Postings / E-Mail to us PRIOR TO THEIR APPEARANCE ON THIS WEB SITE, and Postings / E-Mail to us do not necessarily reflect the views of Random Factors. In no event shall Random Factors assume or have any responsibility or any liability for the Postings / E-Mail to us or for any claims, damages or losses resulting from their use and/or appearance on this Web Site. 5. Random Factors reserves the right to monitor all Postings / E-Mail to us and to remove any which he considers in his absolute discretion to be unlawful, offensive, terminally stupid or otherwise in breach of these terms and conditions. 6. 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However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself & your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you & your pets. If you have read this webpage in error, please add some nutmeg & egg whites, whisk & place in a warm oven for 40 minutes. No trees were destroyed and no animals were killed or injured in the manufacture of this web page. However, a large number of electrons were significantly inconvenienced. Notice: The most fundamental particles in the products that we sell / distribute / play with are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is known and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed. Important Notice to Users: The entire physical universe, and/or our banjos, including the information that we provide, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of the services that we offer in this universe cannot be guaranteed. 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You'll go blind, grow hair on your palms and get carpal-tunnel syndrome. Wash, rinse, repeat. The Surgeon General has determined that life is fatal. Have a nice day. Do you want fries with that? Don't shoot that gun, it's collectible. This side towards enemy. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. They're lying. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Gentlemen will remove their hats. Link to these pages at your own risk. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Wear your earplugs. How's my coding? Call 1-800-UP-YOURS. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise. Spammers will be mutilated. Keep off the grass. POLITICAL CORRECTNESS NOTICE: If, through omission or commission, we have inadvertently displayed any sexist, racist, culturalist, nationalist, regionalist, ageist, lookist, ableist, sizeist, speciesist, intellectualist, socioeconomicist, ethnocentrist, phallocentrist, heteropatriarchalist, or other type of anti-PC bias as yet unnamed on this web site, we encourage you to get over it, find your sense of humor again, and get on with your life. In other words:This document contains information which is nothing to do with you or anyone and even if it does we will deny it and you may be sued or terrorised by smart Suits with no morals and a strong sense of Latin so you are bloody fortunate to have got this far in this warning without having shiny suited geeks in tight pants banging on your door and dragging you off to court. AND DON'T FORGET: This web page, and all original artwork and logos are copyrighted up the ying-yang, so if you steal them you might get a visit from our lawyer ....... or worse, you might have to face a buddy of ours from the Carolinas named Bubba who has a truly evil (and painful) idea of what is and what isn't funny. And he likes to laugh. And, in view of "spin" and the loose usage of the English language in our media and schools, we must also say: We know you believe you understand what you think we wrote, but we're not sure you realize that what you read is not what we meant. By entering this site, the buyer represents that they have read the above information, are moderately human, and can read! This Warning Label May Cause Choking If Swallowed AND FURTHERMOREEVENYETSTILL Neither Random Factors / Webmaster, nor their employees, children, cats, dogs or neighbors necessarily agree with the political and social views that may or may not be espoused by Leslie Fish. She's one of a kind. You have been warned. |
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